Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste Review

Video review above or here: http://youtu.be/M0MlZQ_ABhs

When I first received this product, I expected a lot. It’s always nice to see a lightweight water-based pomade, and even though it is Uppercut, I was hoping for some legit shit.

Too bad it wasn’t.

Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste jar

This is the jar. Instead of two dudes fighting as on the Deluxe jar, you got two boys fighting…hence, the featherweight name. The presentation of the product (minus the cluttered bottom-side) is nice and one of the better jobs fosho. It’s a tin can with plastic-lining to accommodate the water-based pomade.

Scent

It has a citrus smells that’s dominated by a lime-lemon type of feel. The scent isn’t a sweet one. It’s more like the peel of the fruit, which in all honesty, I prefer over the sweet smell. We have too many sweet fruity pomades. This is a nice alternative. Sadly, this is probably the product’s only slightly-good trait.

Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste texture

Texture

The pomade is scooped out slightly thicker than Anchors Teddy Boy Matte. Even as a thicker product, it still scoops out better than a majority of water-based pomades. However, this does not translate to a good application experience.

Application

Never before have I ever had so much trouble applying a water-based pomade. Never. Even Suavecito Firme is easier. And now that I’ve heard some of you guys had the same experience, I think it’s safe to conclude that the Uppercut line sucks in the application category. Across the board, they fail to make a product that’s easy to apply and reasonable to style with. Uppercut Deluxe and even this supposedly lightweight pomade, Uppercut Featherweight, is some effin’ hair rippin’ shit. They can say whatever they want, but harsh application is not an unavoidable inconvenience. 

You’ll see in the video, I was trying to hold back the anger of annoyance and tears of pain. I didn’t wanna let it all out too harshly in the video, but you can trust me that I will never use this product ever again.

AND THIS IS AN EFFIN’ LIGHTWEIGHT. Who the fuck named this pomade featherweight? Does it mean something else in Australia? I’m tempted to end this review right here.

Slickness

It kept the hairs together only out of brute force. It wasn’t a slick product at all. As you can see in the photo, I get a split that would put the Grand Canyon to shame.

Shine

It’s matte.

Strength

Lots of hold. Painful hold. Why the hell was this thing labeled as a featherweight pomade? Ooo hoo teehee…you came up with a clever name that allows you to make a cute revision on your graphic design for the label. I don’t care if you call this a featherweight and describe it as a medium in your description. Label your product based on its performance, not so you can turn the men on the Deluxe jar into boys for the Featherweight jar — even if you like boys. Names have a reason to exist.

Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste pomp
Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste slickness
Uppercut Featherweight Hair Paste part

Yeah. I totally forgot to photograph the hair at the end of the day. Not because of how much I disliked this product, but forreal…I just forgot.

Endurance

For such a heavy hold pomade, the endurance was very disappointed. Understandable due to the purpose of this pomade which is for a loose and messy hairstyle…nevertheless, for the pain I went through to apply this pomade, there is still no good reason for me to ever use this product again.

Restyleability

Not a good idea. It’s dry as fuh….not even water will help.

Rinseability

It washes out completely, but you’ll want the help of some shampoo. Most water-based pomades can easily rinse out with straight water, but you’ll want a lil more power with this product.

Hardness

It slightly hardens up. Not crusty at all.

Conclusion

I’d never use this product ever again.

If you don’t believe me, you can buy some here and try this pomade out for yourself.